Baby How To: Subways

As a mother who is permanently attached to a stroller, I've formed a new appreciation for those members of our society who are bound to a wheelchair. Naturally, I have it much easier - I can pick up the stroller with all my might and carry it up stairs, if need be. A handicapped person cannot.

So, here is a little bit of how-to on taking babies on a subway:
(Some background on my perspective: I'm not talking about subways that have elevators, drive-on platforms, and such. I'm talking about the old trolley cars that have 3 stairs at all entrances and exits, so you MUST negotiate stairs with a baby, a stroller and a diaper bag.)
1. Start with a plan. Make sure you know where you are going before you get to the train station so that you're not checking the subway map as you're trying to negotiate the train car. And get your money out in advance.
2. Once you get to the subway, scope out the surroundings. Check if there are any strapping men around who seem like they would be helpful in getting the stroller up the stairs. Make eye contact and smile at them in that damsel-in-distress sort of way. Best if you select someone who is married and will have little interest in you sexually, otherwise they may get the wrong idea.
3. If you are successful in getting a fellow passenger to help you, thank them profusely, and if possible in a way that the rest of the passengers can hear. That way, others may feel guilty for not helping you and will do it for someone else at a later date.
4. Once you reach your destination, thank your lucky stars profusely for the fact that strollers come with wheels and straps and that just this time, your child was kept from sticking her tiny little hands into all the dirty crevasses of the subway car by those magic things called straps.