The secret life of babies

I want you to think back a little bit. When was the last time that you went to sleep parallel to your bed and woke up perpendicular to it? It sounds like an odd question, doesn't it. I'll get back to it in a little while.

I went to a La Leche League meeting when my daughter was about 2 months old and one of the leaders, when asked whether one baby's frequent nursing at night was a symptom of co-sleeping, answered that it's perfectly normal for babies to wake up at night frequently to nurse and that as a mother you don't want your baby to sleep through the night anyway because you'll miss out on the bonding of nursing at night. That's total crap.

From the moment a new baby makes it into the life of a family, the mother, father and everyone who hears that baby crying at night - the neighbors, the neighborhood cat, the cops driving by on night patrol - want that baby to sleep from 8pm to 6 am at least. Continuously. Without crying or needing a diaper change or nursing.

I can appreciate the challenge here. Dr. Sears says that babies love to practice their newly acquired skills at night. They wake up and sit if they've just learned to sit up, or walk around the crib if they've just learned to walk. They roll, turn over, play with their pacifier, play with the crib bumper, kick off their blanket. Sometimes they bang their pacifier against the crib bars, reminiscent of the way prisoners bang their metal cups along their cell bars. This problem of playing at night is exacerbated by the short sleep cycles that babies have, and so if it seems that your infant is waking up every hour, it's because they probably are.

As I write this post, the clock reads 4:53am. My daughter is sound asleep after her now-all-too-regular 4 am feeding and I am wide awake. In fact, she fell asleep while nursing in my arms, warm and snugly. I'm debating the benefits of using the same remedy on myself - a warm glass of milk and a cuddle with something warm. I've nixed the idea of the milk and settled for water off my bedside table. The computer is really warm and I'm snuggled with it in bed. And now that I've put the post to electronic memory, I'm hoping that I won't be staying up much longer, placticing my newly acquired skill of blogging.

Sleep

"To sleep, perchance to dream". Doesn't that sounds like the best thing? Sweet sleep and some sweet dreams. Ok, I guess it's not from a very warm and cozy play, but at least the sentiment is nice. I can tell you what my dreams are made of: sleeping on nice flowy white sheets, with a soft breeze gliding through the room, waking up to the sound of the birds chirping outside and the smell of pancakes cooking in the kitchen. That's the stuff. Really.

I was walking along the streets of Brookline early one morning, sipping my freshly made Starbucks hot chocolate, thinking to myself that I'd better find a nice long street so that I won't constantly have to think about where to go and which turn to make. So that my road can be straight, and I can be pushing my sleeping child in her stroller without thinking much of anything.

Did you ever notice that all moms with young children have the same look on their face. Underslept, overtired, puffy eyes. We nod to each other the same way that bus drivers nod to each other as they pass. The sort of acknowledgement of the woes and difficulties. The acknowledgement that we understand, better than anybody else on the street.

I loathe mothers who walk out, composed, with make up on, with clean pressed clothing, and head out confidently with their stroller to their Pilates or some other such thing. Then I have to remind myself that in the last 6 months, there has probably been 1 occasion when, with the help of someone, I got out of the house without getting pucked on in the stairwell, with my hair composed, with some makeup on, and with decent clothing. I don't go to pilates. That's the next hurdle. Perhaps baby ups can count for exercise for another two months or so, and then I'll have to find a real exercise routine.

And so, dear readers, I must say: "Goodnight and good luck". May your night be restful. May your baby, if you have one, seize fighting sleep for this just one evening and may you get all the sleep your dreams are made of.

A League of Their Own

When you become a first time mother, there is a vast array of organizations that are ready and willing to lend you their services. Most are for profit and have some very specific marketing goals in mind. Think Isis Maternity for those of you who are local folk. Not so of the La Leche League (LLL).

I first heard of LLL through a friend who breastfeeds her baby. It seemed like a good thing to think about, but I didn't contact anyone or do anything until I was at home with a 3 week old baby and seriously sore nipples that I didn't know what to do about. I called up a friendly LLL leader (who I had never met or spoken to) who talked me through some things that could be wrong and what I could try for remedy. I can't quite remember what, if anything, of what she said I actually tried and what, if anything, helped. But I very clearly remember that I found great solice from the fact that there was a person on the other end of the line who wanted nothing from me and who was sitting there, ready to listen to my woes and offer advice.

So, why am I telling you such personal and odd facts? Because I want to dispell this notion that LLL is some crazy cult that will make you breastfeed your kid until they are well into college. That is simply not the case. While there are certainly some mothers who are still breastfeeding children well into their 4th year (and I raise an eyebrow on that), the vast majority of the moms who come breasfeed until a year or even less. To anyone who thinks a year is too long to breastfeed, please note that the American Academy of Pediatrics recommends that mothers breastfeed until 1 year. Although maybe some of you with kids think that they are some crazy cooky cult.

And so, if any of you know a pregnant woman or a new mother who wants to breastfeed but may need a little help, send her to http://www.llli.org/ and she's sure to find the help she needs. I've been to 3 meetings and enjoyed all of them.

By the way, I have to mention one story because it's been burning in my memory. I was at a baby shower not that long ago and the LLL came up as a good support group for breastfeeding moms. Then one expecting mother recalled the horror story of her friend who was going to LLL. Yada, yada, yada, the friend gets mastitis and guess what? The evil leaders at LLL were telling her to keep breastfeeding while all she wanted to do was stop because she was in horrible pain. You should see this woman's face. To an unsuspecting deaf onlooker, she was talking about war crimes.

I know mastitis very well - I've had it 3 times. Mastitis may be cured by antibiotics, but you won't get rid of the pain until you empty your plug. If you stop breastfeeding your kid because you have mastitis, you get horrible engorgement because your body still thinks that you should be feeding your baby (and it's right). If that woman thought she was in pain from the infection, she had no idea what was coming!

Here comes the G - our first try of the gDiapers

Hello fellow greenies,

I am here to save the planet, one diaper at a time. Well, maybe I won't quite be able to save the planet, that's Al Gore's job, but I hope to make a small impact with my choices as a consumer and a mother.

This whole green thing started my realization that diapers generate a fantastic amount of waste. So, naturally, when I was pregnant, I did research about cloth diapers (I even attended a very long and very boring seminar). We finally bought about $200 worth of cloth diapering supplies, which included fantastic wool diaper covers. These worked for about 3 months, at which point Golda developed a heat rash from all the extra layers of cloth and wool and I had to admit defeat. Not to mention the diapers impeding her ability to move.

Fast forward 2 months later - about 300 disposable diapers are being moved to local landfills.

What to do? What to do?

Thankfully, a friend had tried the gDiaper and since it didn't work for her son, it was available and ready for me to try, which I did today with my daughter. These work pretty well, with some minor issues like the fact that the clips press into her skin and leave scary looking red marks. I think that we can solve most of these by upgrading to Mediums, since she is getting too big for Small and I love the fact that I don't have to empty the trash every day in her room and that we're doing a small thing for the planet.

If I were hired to help the folks at gDiapers improve their product, I would suggest the following:
1. Get rid of the clips (these hold the waterproof layer onto the cover). Replace them with Velcro or some other brilliantly sticky idea. Perhaps even a piece of elastic.
2. Make the bands around the legs tighter. My kid's super chunky thighs were still not quite filling the bands on the Smalls. Imagine what poor little skinny babies have to go through.
3. Include more covers and plastic shields in the starter kit or sell them separately in stores (which they don't do) or online (for cheap - right now, the covers are $17 online, which is about the cost of a super microfiber diaper like BumGenius and thus, is too much). I am also a big believe that you ought to make the money on the inserts - NOT on the covers. Think of printer companies who make money on the cartidges and only scant profit on the printer itself.
4. People love to get fun stuff - like their kid's name on the diapers and different colors for different sizes. I happen to be lucky, that my baby's name starts with a G, but others might like their kids' initials on the diapers as well. You can be the Williams Sonoma of the diaper world.
5. These things have a learning curve. You really need to have some people do demos. Like the Tupperware parties, we'll have diapering parties. Get some experienced moms who have done this, give them some demo equipment (like a bucket to simulate the toilet for a proper flushing demo) and set them loose. An hourly rate plus some commission based on the amount of starter kits they sell. If anyone from gDiapers is reading this - just send a note, I can help.

P.S. If you lose your swishstick (used for turning the insides of the diapers into toilet soup), disposable chopsticks work just as well.