Tuesday, June 15, 2010

Parenting on the playground

I visit our local playgrounds on a daily basis and I often see the following take place:
11am Mom, nanny, etc. asks a tired hungry toddler "Jimmy, do you want to go home and have lunch?". The toddler scans all the fun playground structures and replies "No!" (that's because he's a toddler).
11:15 Mom has been negotiating with Jimmy that it's really time to go home and have lunch and we have such yummy food, etc. The more she tries to convince him to go and eat, the more reluctant he is.
11:30 Now, everyone is tired, hungry and cranky. Mom, nanny, etc. finally loses it and says "Jimmy, get in the stroller right now, it's time to go." Jimmy is now ticked because his opinion was obviously asked for and then ignored, which like any human being will make someone angry. He bursts into a tamper tantrum that ends in the mom being completely crazy and embarrassed, and a really terrible lunch, nap, etc.

Let me give a different scenario.
10:55 Mom says: "Jimmy, in 5 minutes, we have to go home." (assertively)
11:00 Mom says: "Jimmy, it's time to go home" and starts picking up his toys and putting them away. Jimmy, reluctantly, considers coming and then seeing that there is no arguing (and last time when he argued, he had to go home anyway when mom said that it was time to go), gets into the stroller or at least allows the mom to put him in.

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